Hijab Story | How I found faith in Science
Submitted by Luumupuu
I had been interested in religion for maybe a decade prior to converting to Islam. It was mainly that I wanted to learn and not that I was actively looking. I am from an irreligious family, but I personally believed in God privately. I feel that my background in science taught me about the complexity of the world and I took that as evidence of a creator. During 2021 I felt moved to read an English Quran translation. I had previously read other religious texts, but this was a different experience. The Quran felt so reasonable and that God was described as so merciful and loving. The scientific miracles of the Quran really spoke to me and I took them as further proof that Islam was true. When I started practicing by learning things like salah I felt that part of the void that had always been gnawing at me from inside was partly filled. Alhamdulillah for God showering me with His great mercy and allowing me to be led towards Him via Islam!
The first time I tried to wrap a scarf as a hijab was in August 2021. This was about 7 months before I converted. I am not even sure why I was doing it. I just really wanted to see how I would look in it. I had also been feeling God leading me more towards the path of Islam, even if I wasn't ready to commit to it yet.
I wore the hijab outside of my house for the first time 2 days after I converted by saying the shahada for myself for the first time in March 2022, with only my sister present. I started wearing hijab full time in April 2022 and then a couple weeks later I said my shahada in conjunction with Jummah salah during that Ramadan. Wearing it for the first time outside of the house and also wearing it to my university for the first time made me quite nervous. Alhamdulillah, people didn't really care that much. I had told my friends already that I was becoming a Muslim. They were surprised by this, but at the same time not that much since I had been interested in religion for a long time. I had just not really plunged into it yet.
Wearing it has for the most part been a positive experience for me. I feel like I am striving to be closer to God and this is one of the aspects of that. I also feel like it helps me to feel the responsibility of being on my best behavior since I am now visibly Muslim. If I didn't wear the hijab people wouldn't assume that I am Muslim since I am white and live in Sweden, which isn't a Muslim majority country. Of course, there are difficulties with my situation at times, but I am trying to make it work as well as possible and I feel like being a hijabi in a way makes it easier for me to grow in my faith and Muslim identity. Also finding more community with other Muslim sisters has helped me to find a feeling of belonging, alhamdulillah. I am active in an online group and also know some sisters via my local mosque and university. I feel like, in the beginning, I underestimated how important it would be for me as a convert from a non-Muslim family to find other Muslims who I could share my faith with.
